(It's been a busy week)
• Two US fighter planes interrupted lunch on the new patio
• The train turned round just as we reached the lighthouse
• We got home to find a celebrity's father spraying our gravel
• Half the B1145 shut by nasty accident involving crumpled car
• Retiring teacher to receive trafficked £25 gardening voucher
• Sixty bikers roared off after we tried taking their photo
• Receipts for 17 year-old ink cartridges fed into shredder
• Perennial Christmas news venue is smaller than it looks
• The tortoise ate all the dandelion leaves before breakfast
• Windfarm shore access rig spotted in North Sea off Kelling
• Small brown deer wandered into back garden during elevenses
• 50% off big terracotta pots at Chelsea-winning garden centre
n.b. one of these didn't actually happen, sorry.